Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Two Months

Today was one of those days. A beautiful day, an accomplished day, a fun day with our son, Rufus received an A+ at the vet, and Sophia's 2 month birthday. It can catch you in an instant, and linger forever, and I honestly cherish that. Being able to be sad, able to remember, able to conjure up those emotions that were so heartbreaking, yet now bring a feeling of comfort as we remember out little girl. I fear as time continues to pass, her short time with the three of us will feel even shorter, a flash of a memory. Simply, that makes me cry. Alli and I are fortunate that we were blessed with so many gifts to remember her by, and as we continue to look back we can hold on to every moment of the short, precious, beautiful life of our baby girl Sophia.

We have also begun to take steps to help us through our grief. We have recently started attending an infant loss support group with parents who are also living with this great loss. It has been very helpful for us to be able to continue to share Sophia's story and also listen and support others as they share with us. In October we are heading to Faiths Lodge(www.faithslodge.org), a retreat for families who have children who are sick or those who have lost a child. It has been highly recommended and we are looking forward to it. FL is a non-profit organization, and their big event is approaching on the 26th which is "Hope Rocks" all proceeds benefit the lodge. Should be a great night for a great cause.

Keeping busy has been helpful for Alli and I and we can actually thank Jack mostly for that. However, on nights like this, and from time to time its nice to slow down and remember our little girl. It isn't always easy, of course sad, but its important to us. We miss her dearly. A day does not go by that I don't wish I was heading to the hospital or even home to see our little girl, in Mommy's arms, playing with Jack... Its hard to think about what could of been. But, as hard as that is, it keeps her in our thoughts and fills our hearts.

Happy 2 month Sophia, we love you and miss you dearly.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Family.

Dan and I are not sure how to go about writing this post. There are truly no words ever written to express how grateful we are to be a part of the two most loving families in the world.

Our family has been here for us through each step of the way and have given up so much of themselves in order to ease even the slightest bit of our pain.

Our parents have been such an astounding example of how amazing a parent's love for their child can be. When we thought that we could not ask anything more of them, they have been right around the corner with open arms, an ear to lend or kind words of support to offer us. Pride, admiraiton and love do not even come close to decsribe our love and gratitude toward our parents. Simply put, we cannot thank you enough for the amazing guidance you have given us and we only hope to be half the parents you have been to us.

And to our amazing siblings and their spouses...we have always known that we have awesome siblings, but over the past few months you have blown us away. You have all shown us the true meaning of family. Even in the scariest of moments during our brief time with Sophia you were able to make us laugh and take a bit of the pain away. The support that you all continue to show us even six weeks after losing our beautiful baby girl means so, so much and we will never know how to truly thank you.

Finally, if only Jack could understand how grateful we are for him. His darling smile and sparkling personality have lifted our hearts and have brought huge smiles to our faces, even on our darkest days. How sad we are to know how long it will be before Jack will get to hold his baby sister again. Until then, we will remind him daily about what an amazing big brother he was and continues to be. We will forever cherish his love for his new favorite nightly routine...which is saying his bedtime prayers and saying good night to baby "Phia" up in Heaven.